Whisker Protection Case Files

Protected witnesses. Questionable pasts. Exceptional cuddle credentials.

Welcome to the Whisker Protection Program’s most confidential division: our Whisker Protection Case Files. Each resident in our care has been relocated for their own safety after allegedly committing such offenses as grand theft chicken, unlawful blanket occupation, repeated biscuit production, and first-degree heart stealing.

Select a case file to review the evidence. Inside, you’ll find each protected witness’s background, known aliases, personality assessment, preferred snack arrangements, and requirements for their next secure location—also known as a loving forever home. If you believe you can offer a safe house, excellent window access, and a legally sufficient number of treats, submit a request for protective placement below.